2011 in review.

2011. You were a glorious year. You have been my favourite year of all my existence. You have taught me more than I could ever put into a blog post.

Last year, when I was thinking of new years resolutions, it was to be more crafty. It was to create. To live in art. Yes, I did. I love art. I learned *sorta* how to play guitar, I painted, I listened to and found new music. I listened to music a lot. I did tie dye, made shirts, and many more things. I most definitely lived in art more so this year than any other. I appreciated it.

As the year went on, I changed it. I think it may have been around Feb or March. It was to get out more. Haha, I know. That's sad to make that your resolution. But I needed to do it. I hate not following through with things, so I had to do it. And so I did. I went out. I saw my friends a lot more. Maybe not during the summer as much, but I was so busy with agility..but this school year; it's been fantastic.

In November, for leadership, we made a wellness goal, and mine was to get more sleep. I made a goal, and I followed through. I have been getting more sleep and that has made me feel so much better! I feel like a new person! So vigourating to live each day without being dead tired!

Looking back on all of my new years resolutions of the past, I've realized that they have all changed my life. They have helped me become a better person. Without realizing it, I did that to myself. Pretty cool. For 2012, it is going to be the year of change, of growth, of opportunity. Things will change, I will change, people around me will change, they will leave and I most likely will never see some of them again. It's the year of happy, the year of sad, of moving on, of making your own life happen. The year to follow your dreams. Or to begin to, anyways. All in one year, I will graduate from highschool and start university. That's change.

Ah, sidebar.

I have decided that this years resolution will be to stay off the computer. Not completely, but a lot more. Basically to find other things to occupy my time, my brain and do something useful. Rad idea, I know.

Pictures tell a story. Looking back on the pictures from this past year, the story those photos tell is pretty cool.

We found a trail, we went hiking, Mach could be trusted more and more, I went back to school, I dissected a shark, I wrote exams; twice, I got good grades, and I got a couple bad, one of my best friends moved away, I missed her, I met new people, I hated physics, I drank tea and fell in love, we got a new puppy, old friends visited, we visited old friends, I made food, went to agility seminars, learned lots, watched the sun set in all its beauty, went to agility trials, got lots of Q's, went to more agility trials, mostly in the rain.



Mach learned all about agility, he grew a lot, and I did too because of it. I read books and got wrapped up into them, I got my full driving license, went for walks with my friends, we got a camaro, I went on a camping trip with my class and loved every minute of it, I finished the hardest year in school that I have ever had, my wisdom teeth were removed, and went to more agility trials...

Toffee and I earned our Lifetime Achievement Award and Mach and I started trialing and earned our first Q's together.

I had campfires, ate smores, chips and dip and I went swimming. Took the dogs swimming, too.

We went to Nationals. My fifth time going.

It was the most amazing experience in my life. We won nationals, along with top junior handler, and steeplechase. We did it. We made it happen. I am so blessed.

I met new people, talked to some I have wanted to for a very long time and soaked up every minute of it.

I started my Grad year. I made friends with new people, I found a new appreciation for life and all that it is. I found a new appreciation for the people in my life and have tried to make it a point to make sure they know it.

I found a passion in healthy living,(okay, still trying), and trying to figure out the wild world.

Mach got his first titles and Toffee ranked the top dog in atlantic Canada.

I lived, I learned, I loved, I laughed, I smiled, I cried, I cherish, I was selfish, I was grateful, I was selfless, I was mad, I was happy, I grew, I grew a lot.

Continue on, my love.

I was brave.
I'm not brave a lot.
Not ever, really.
But I was brave. So I applaud myself for once. I WAS BRAVE.
Yes, I finally listened to my own advice of the month and I took a chance, because they are always worth taking.

And I truly belive that they are. No, probably most of the time they wont give you the outcome that you had planned or hoped for. They will teach you lessons, though. And you will learn them. Maybe not the first time, or even the second or third. But you will learn, and you will grow. This, I do believe, is for certain.

Old habits die hard. Unfortunately I have the habit of making a fool of myself and screwing things up, usually for good. And you know the suckiest part is? It's not like my heart was broken or anything. Not at all. Because no one even truly has my heart to break. No one ever does. I get myself all wrapped up into these situations that are destined for doom. But, they dont have to be...but somehow I always make it play out that way. Sometimes I'm smart, but most of the time I'm not.

I'm crippled and slow.

Even though there are promises that things wont change, this heart may rightly be naive, but it knows all about broken promises. No, this heart aint no stupid thing. It knows when disappointment is coming. It can sense it. It's like a sixth sense. But this heard decides that LIFE IS GREAT! That things are full of love and so full of life and it should ALWAYS be happy.

Oh, and it tries to be.

It puts on its mask of happiness on even the darkest days because it doesnt want anyone to believe that it is unhappy. Because it's not. Oh, it's so happy. But for that day, it's just sad. Yes, it'll find many reasons to smile and even laugh, but for that day, it won't be that god damned happy heart that you want to shoot because your heart is having a shitty day and you think everyone around you should be too.

That's the difference between this heart and that heart. It doesn't want any other hearts to be sad. It knows, all too well, that being sad sucks and no heart should have to feel sadness all the time. Of course, sadness has to have its days, too. But they should be scarce.

But despite the days of sadness that this heart knows, it took a chance. Oh, did it ever. And no, it didn't work out the way it had hoped for. Though it knew that any other option was dead. But for a tiny moment, this heart saw a tiny shimmer of hope. It did. It was bright, too. And happy. Just like the sun.

But just like the sun, it eventually will come to an end. This shimmer was much small than the sun, so naturally it died much quicker. This hope was very hasty. Hasty is was. Very rushed, desperate almost.

Oh, but it was bursting with potential. And I think that's what kills this heart the most. There's potential in so much. But it is never, ever, ever reached. The potential just sits...and fades away.

Oh, but I was brave. Brave I was.

boy, let me tell you, bravery ain't cheap.

No it's not.
Being brave is really hard. It takes a lot, you know. It takes a lot of mustering up the courage. It takes a lot of emotion. It takes a lot of heart. I've been there. It's hard. To be vulnerable, it's hard. To wear your heart on your sleeve is hard. It's all hard. Life is hard. Love is hard. Oh, but love is so easy. Broken hearts are hard. Disappointment is hard. Losing chances is really hard. It's hard to take. To look back and go over all the "what ifs". Those are hard.

Moving on is hard, too. Much to difficult to think of right now.

Oh, but love is so easy.

Christmas!

Is all over and done with. I didnt even realize it was here, and it has already come and gone. Funny how that happens, eh?

I do have pictures, but they're on the camera, and it's really late and I dont want to go find where the camera is..download them, edit them, press the button to add them. Really, I'm just lazy. Deal with it. :)

Santa found us. Yes, yes he did.

He brought me snowshoes! Mom and I went out with them today and brought Mach and Rowdie. It was fun!!

He also brought me a pair of moccasins, and awesome boots.
and a fringe vest. AHH. Lots of goodies from Forever 21. <3

and other hippie-tastic things.

We went to see my Gramp, as we always do. The whole fam gets together. Ty wasn't there though. He called from Edmonton, where he's living. He said they were having tacos from supper. hahah, Merry Christmas, bro!

That is all.

Hope all of your Christmases were fantabulous as well!

Happy holidays, everyone!

Christmas Eve!

Are y'all just as excited, that Christmas is here, as I am?
Also, I'm on break...FINALLY! Such a much needed break. Oof.

Today has been relatively relaxing. Slept in, cleaned up, wrapped some presents, went in town to get groceries for tonight, more cleaning, more wrapping, some eating in there, too.

Tonight should be relaxing, too. Since we stopped going over to our neighbours on Xmas Eve, we've stayed home, watched a Christmas movie and ate a lot of food in front of the fire. I like it.

It snowed a lot yesterday, so now we're in for a White Christmas! I don't particularily enjoy snow. It means it's cold enough out, and I have to bundle up in a lot of clothes, and I can't play agility outside. However, I do like it for Christmas. It just doesn't seem right without it. But after the Holidays are over, I want it gone. Because, then it becomes annoying.

Mach's excited that it's a white and fluffy outside! Look how cute. Gah.

Music

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything."

I wish to be free..

I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom. That they can read and be thankful for it. I wish that they keep life beautiful, never miss an opportunity to tell someone just how much they mean to them, for we miss that moment all too often. I wish that no one that is a fish is judged on its ability to climb a tree, because no one deserves to swim around their whole life believing they're stupid.

I wish to sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in my sails, to explore, to dream, to discover.  I wish to meet new people, as every person is a new door to a different world. I wish to be so happy that when others looks at me, they become happy, too. I wish to make someone happy. I wish that I take every chance and drop every fear. I wish to realize that this day will never happen again. I wish to embrace it.

I wish that I am the crazy one that dares to change the world, because those are the few that actually do; the ones who believe.I wish that I can change someones life. Because to every person, the world is different. Each and every person has a different perspective of this earth, and if I can change one persons life, I can change the world; for that person, and that is a great gift.

 I wish to remember that every little thing is gonna be alright, that nothing is permenant in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

I wish to embrace everything. To live in art, as art is a way of life. Without art, the earth is just "eh". I wish to have less, do more and be more. I wish to have the passion to not settle for a life that is less than the one I am capable of living.

I wish to do small things with great love. To live, love, laugh, sing and be happy; to smile when I remember that where there is love, there is life.

I wish that I take deep breaths and just go wherever the wind takes me. Life is not a race, it's a journey.

I wish to love, because I have a sneaking suspicion that love actually is all around.

Be free. Move forward.

It's such a wonderful time of the year!

Today was PERFECT.
Okay, kinda stressful. But not at all at the same time.

There's only 5 days until Christmas. FIVE. Il y a seulement cinq jours. CINQ!
Ah, mon doux!


All of my friends loved their cookie baggies. I got a hug from all of them and I loved every minute of it.
I love my friends. They are golden.

Today was Ugly Sweater day. A lot of people had them, and I'm not kidding when I say that I would wear about 90% of them on any given day. They're all so pretty. I love sweaters.

Our trip to UNB was fun, too. Well, sorta. Kinda boring. Not really. A little interesting. Maybe. Yeah. No. Hmm. A guy in our class reached 60 VO2. That's awesome. But all I could really think of the entire time I was there was just how hungry I was. So hungry. All the time.

Also, we have to do a french speech (die) after the break. Meaning I have to write a friggin french speech over the break. I'm sorry, I thought "break" meant no work; an actual break from school work. But they don't seem to understand that. But at least I get to write it whatever in the world would please my little heart.

I watched The Santa Claus 2 this evening. It was splendid. I remember when we were younger, my brothers and I, would chant around our living room on Christmas Eve, saying "Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is coming!" Watching that movie reminded me of the good 'ol times.

Back then, in any persons childhood, your life is full of magic. You believe in everything. You believe in magic, you believe in love, in the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, that you wont have a broken heart because everyone will always come back for you. Why do we lose sight of the magic in every day things? Why do we lose the magic in the belief of something so simple. Maybe it's a simple answer, and maybe it isn't. Who are we to decide. But wait. Who are we not to decide? Magic is in everything.

I've stayed up a half hour...okay, forty five minutes past what I should have...okay, it was an hour...looking at grad quotes. (We can have a quote of anything at all under our picture in the yearbook). They're due on Friday, and I cannot decide on one. I have a page and a half a written out quotes. Yikes.

But here's a picture. Enjoy. Love yourself, always.

Christmas is coming!

Although it most definitely does not feel like it. I will be in school until the 23rd. I don't know if I like that or not. We will get our two weeks off. We go back to school the 10th, and I do like having the time after Christmas to get ready and all that. But I also think it's stupid because we're back to school for 10 days and then it's exam time. I just wish we had our exams before Christmas to get them over and done with. I don't like having to think about exams while on vacation. It's a much needed vacation.

But school has not stopped me from getting into the Christmas spirit! I've been listening to Christmas music all month. Our house has been fully decorated for a while now; our christmas lights on every night. They're beautiful.

I've finished all my shopping, wrapped most of it, done all my baking and they are all ready to be given out to my friends tomorrow. I made little cards for all of them, too. I hope they like them :)

This past Saturday we had our Kapers (our agility club) Christmas party at our house. It was fun. It was nice seeing everyone together, especially all the newbies to the club. Nice group of people. The oldies practically rasied me.

I made Scotch cakes, iced them with whipped vanilla icing, and decorated them with smarties and chocolate chips, Magic sqaures, which are quite literally magical. I also made the best in the world chocolate chip cookies. It's the best batch I have ever made. Baked to perfection. Yum! And lastly, I made peanut butter chocolate squares. The recipe is in one of the pictures. So easy and they definitely have the YUM! factor. So delish.

For the Christmas party, I have made a themed cake for the past couple years. This year I decided to make a tree. Much easier said than done. It was really difficult to ice it, but it turned out okay. And delicious. I also made Santa Hat brownies, thanks to Pinterest for showing me the wonderful creations. I made them with Ghirardelli browni mix from Cost Co.....best brownies in the world. You have to go but a box. So. Good.

And what's a post without an adorably beautiful Toffee photo?

This week is going to be pretty crazy. I have 3 tests on thursday. Tomorrow I am going to the Currie Center for Exercise Science. This week at our school is Themed Day week. Each day is a different theme, all in the name of Christmas Spirit. Today was Red and Green. I wore a red sweater and green sweat pants (it's monday ;)), tomorrow is Ugly Sweater day. That is my most favorite day of all. My sweater is the best. It has ornaments on it. Wednesday is Christmas Character day. I don't think I'll do this one...it seems as though I don't have an elf or santa costume laying around....Thursday is Classy Christmas...you have to dress up? I don't think so. This chick rides in sweats all day, every day. ;) But it may be an excuse to wear this cute little dress/leggings/boots combo that I've been waiting to wear. But I have three tests that day...so maybe not. And lastly, Friday is PJ day. (Just another sweats day for me, haha) Also, it's only a half day. And there is the Christmas Assembly, where I could potentially win prizes. For nothing. #win.

That was a emmence paragraph about pointless school activities that nobody  cares about. hehe.

There's also a lunch time activity each day. Today was Chug-a-Nog....chugging a carton of Egg Nog. No thanks. Tomorrow is pictures with Santa. And I don't know what else is going on.

Christmas Coffee House is Wednesday evening, but seeing how I have three tests on Thursday, I doubt I should go. Would probably end up being very bad...

I am very tired. I need to get up early and go to school. At least I am missing 3 periods for a field trip. (in grade 12 :) )

Wishing you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Stop The Bullying.

Came across this video and it really hit me.

I'll let Jonah do all the talking.